


Chojin VS Global Pandemic

by Cristy_duck



Category: Ultimate Muscle | Kinnikuman Nisei, キン肉マン | Kinnikuman (Manga)
Genre: Alien Biology, Alien Cultural Differences, Coronavirus pandemic, Friendship, Gen, Global Pandemic, Humor, Hypochondria
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-19
Updated: 2020-10-19
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:07:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27107689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cristy_duck/pseuds/Cristy_duck
Summary: So ... I thought, how could our heroes react to the Coronavirus Pandemic? Read this humorous story to find out!
Relationships: Bibimba & Kinniku Mantaro, Kinniku Mantaro & Kevin Mask, Kinniku Mantaro & Meat, Kinniku Mantaro & Terry the Kid, Kinnikuman | Kinniku Suguru & Kinniku Mantaro
Kudos: 3





	Chojin VS Global Pandemic

Coronavirus blocked the world. For the very first time after World War II, the world stopped, facing its very first global pandemic during the 21st century. Everyone had to strictly follow the rules, especially in countries like Italy or Japan, where the virus hit at its hardest. Humans started to feel emphatic again, to care more for elders and those who had an illness, but some of them even started to feel depressed or crazy and those who were once hypochondriacs became more and more hypochondriacs.

People started to meet only by Meet, Facetime and so on, many showing themselves without make-up – the girls – or half-asleep – the boys. And the Chojin were no exception. Mantaro viewed all that situation as really, really annoying; he was an alien, so he couldn’t know why humans started to act like that and, moreover, he couldn’t get infected with that virus, so he just hated that situation in which he had to stay home all the time. He started to speak with Meat in Kinniku, while they used to speak the Universal Chojin Language, and Meat tried to explain him the story about humans and pandemics, but since many words didn’t exists in the Kinniku language, Meat had to rely to the UCL, making Mantaro more pissed off by that situation. He just wanted to go outside without needing to lift up his mouth mask, but he had to do that, otherwise he would get a fine.

Meat told him that he could at least do some push-up and core since they couldn’t grapple, and Mantaro just agreed because he could do something else other than reading, studying or chatting. But the real problem was that Mantaro couldn’t understand his friends’ problems and acted annoyed by all that situation. And Meat felt the situation would have became just more … awkward.

«You’re being just too much crazy for me, I’m telling you! Terry, you can’t wear a mask while you’re in your own flat and you never exited your house since they found the virus! Please, be reasonable for once!»

Mantaro was face-timing his friends and the look he usually wore was that of an alien disgusted by humans’ strange behaviours. Terry replied: – _You can’t understand, pal, the virus is everywhere, everywhere! It could be even in the air that I’m breathing right now! I can’t be that careless and behaving like I’m living in a safe place!_

«Please, tell me you’re kidding.» Mantaro put a hand over his face.

– _What are you doing?! Get that hand off your face now! What if you contracted the virus?!_

The alien turned his eyes: «Again, I can’t contract the virus, Terry! And Kevin, why are you wearing a mask under your mask? I thought you had an oxygen reserve on the face plate!» was that virus so strong to make even Kevin Mask tremble?

The Brit scoffed: – _Tsk, I’m just doing this because of Warsman! He wants me to respect all the limitations and so on … plus, right now I can’t have enough oxygen because they use it for the ICU … and maybe I got fined because they obliged me to show a part of my face and I wasn’t wearing that shitty mask and … maybe my father and mother found out …_

Terry answered: – _You’re kidding, right? You can’t behave like this! I mean, maybe you didn’t even wash your hands according to the WHO rules or … don’t tell me you don’t have your personal hand sanitizer?! It’s vital, you know?! We can’t-_

«Ehi, morons, could you please shut up? I mean, who cares what you must do to prevent the spreading of the virus, if you don’t get infected and respect social distances, it’s ok, no?»

Terry almost screamed: – _No, it’s not! What if I don’t disinfect my hands correctly and, somehow, I catch the virus by chance? What if I forget to change the mask and then got infected?! What if … what if … oh, God, I’ll die by this rate in two weeks!_

«Terry, you’re exaggerating. Nothing of this will happen.» continued Mantaro, sipping his tea.

Kevin intervened: – _By the way, Mantaro, why can’t you Kinniku get infected?_

Mantaro answered chewing an apple: «You see, we Kinniku breath nitrogen or hydrogen. Nitrogen on Earth and hydrogen at home or during our space trips. Since we don’t breathe oxygen, our respiratory system is different from yours and it structured as to block everything that our immune system as not recorded. This explains why I can only feel sick when I eat too much or when I’m freezing. They’re not viruses, it’s just my body’s response to a stress. By the way, can we meet just once, like it’s by chance?»

Terry felt his eyes widen: – Absolutely not! Until the virus is eradicated, I won’t go out of my home! And-

– _My god, son, you’re still having your hypochondriac problems?_ – Terryman entered the meeting – _I knew I should’ve taken you to a specialist … but your mother always said it was ordinary …_

– _Mantaro, bro, why you called my father?!_

«Maybe he can encourage you to stop this madness … I mean, I understand this virus can kill you earthlings but … I think this is just too much now …»

– _And calling my father is the best idea you had? Really?!_

«Well, I could’ve asked mother, but she tends to be a little aggressive when you behave strange … so I thought your father would’ve been perfect.»

– _Ah, cow pies, I’m out!_ – and he disconnected. Terryman sighed but continued to remain online because he knew Suguru would connect shortly.

– _Oh, hello there! How are you, son? Meat told me you’re behaving a bit annoyed, Mantaro … I know it’s a strange situation, but you must endure, ok? Maybe you can_ —started Suguru, but his guest showed up behind him:

– Ah! I’ll live here until the pandemic is over, Mantaro! I bet your father will give me great advice! He was so kind to prepare a room for me! – exclaimed Terry.

Mantaro’s eyes became darker: «What?! But dad! You can’t do it! Mommy knows about this?! And by the way, Terry, do you really expect not to find the virus there? What if you brought it with you?»

– _That’s impossible, because they transported me! And what’s the problem, by the way? Are you jealous? On this planet I can be less germophobic, right? Isn’t this what you wanted?_ – teased the Texan, hugging Suguru. Mantaro snorted.

– _This could become the best meeting of my life!_ – whispered Kevin, enjoying the scene.

Mantaro wanted to answer but his mother interrupted: – _Dear, I can understand that you want to help Terry cope his OCD, but this won’t be of any help. We should teleport him back on Earth now._

Suguru sighed: – _Ah, you’re right. I’m sorry, Terry. It’s for your own good._

Terry smirked: – _It’s ok, I understand … thanks, anyway_.

Bibimba smiled again, lowered, making her neckline visible – this explains why Terryman blushed heavily and Kevin almost choked on water – and said: – _It’s time for us to go, now. I promise you we’ll come visit you, my boy, when the pandemic ends. I love you!_ – and disconnected. The others disconnected too.

Mantaro just though one thing: he would never ever understand earthlings. They were such aliens!


End file.
